If Only We’d Been Taller

Score

If Only We'd Been Taller is a piece about ambition and fatalism inspired by Ray Bradbury’s “If Only We Had Taller Been”. Bradbury’s piece was written to commemorate the landing of the Mariner 9 spacecraft on Mars in 1971 and speaks to a sense of optimism in space exploration and celebration of human achievement. As I’m rapidly approaching 30, though, I feel more emptiness than celebration at the idea of trying to go further and do more. My own ambition feels so hollow and self-important that it’s difficult to see Bradbury’s desire to “stand really tall across the void” and not ask “why?” or “who cares?”. I don’t know if that is self-loathing or a desire to celebrate my life as it is, but in either case I don’t want to spend any more time trying to be taller.  

This piece was commissioned by nexbloom ensemble in 2022